I hadn't heard about this book before the Bookbug poll, but I thought it would be interesting. A premise centered around the gay experience in the 1950s sounded like something that would have a unique perspective on the world. Indeed, I think that it did offer a unique perspective, it's just that I didn't really get much out of it.
My expectations were tempered going in, I never quite expected the story to be relatable, considering I'm asexual and not exactly homoromantic either, nor have I ever lived outside my country. However, I know that the human condition is collectively shared, and I figured that there would probably be something universally applicable hidden within the pages. As it happens, I was right, the story was mostly about attachments in practice, although the messages themselves were things I discovered long ago.
Truthfully, the story direction was miserable all throughout. I believe I understand why, it's poignant, it sticks with you on account of how depressing it was. David's character was used as a warning, an example of what not to do, or else. The author also likely intended it to be a social commentary on heteronormativity, gender roles, American culture, male culture, and the gay community as well. Altogether it makes sense why the direction was depressing when it set out to address and exemplify depressing aspects of society's shortcomings. In my opinion, however, it made the story unenjoyable to sit through.
The book sets the stage in the beginning by already spoiling the ending, Giovanni gets a death sentence. With that in the back of my mind the whole time, essentially everything that would have been foreshadowing to a big reveal ended up being nothing. Rather than building dramatic tension that leads to a climactic collapse, most plot points were relegated to discontented confirmation that, yes, David is horrible and I am forced to watch him do horrible things to people exactly as I was told. At best all I could do was roll my eyes, at worst I had to put the book down for days at a time. It was almost sadistic how much the book focused on messy conflicts, apathetic self-loathing, and abusive toxicity while glossing over time gaps when people briefly weren't suffering.
Pretty obviously David is a man with severe avoidant attachment. His unresolved parental trauma, internalized homophobia, people pleasing, body dysphoria, emotional shutdowns, and sex/alcohol addiction keeps him afraid of all deep relationships. He runs from all his problems or distances himself until his problems leave first. Jacques lectures David in Part 1 about the dangers of being avoidant, but that only paints Jacques as a hypocrite, and implies it's normalized behavior that awareness alone doesn't fix. On the other hand, Giovanni has desperately codependent anxious attachment. He admits multiple times that he can't live with himself and needs a lover to justify his existence. He immediately threatens suicide against David's withdrawal. Even Hella has an unhealthy outlook on relationships, where she believes society will only allow her life if she fulfills her gender role with marriage and children. (She may very well be correct considering the time period, it doesn't negate the fact that she clings to awful men out of desperation.) All these dynamics are so intensely toxic and bleak, reading the patterns was constant, miserable, triggering, and predictable worst of all.
Perhaps I would've gotten more out of it if I wasn't already familiar with these themes. If I was a teenager again, super depressed and without awareness of my attachment issues, maybe this story would've been a wake up call as designed. I imagine a story like this, especially in the 50s and 60s, probably did wake up a lot of unhealthy people, particularly gay men. And that's fine I think. I can easily see how others could benefit from reading this perspective, I'm glad something like this exists for them, I simply didn't have anything new to gain.
I've been very negative for almost the entire review, but I didn't actually hate it. I did really enjoy the prose in the book, it's expertly crafted for sure. The sensory descriptions were vivid and the metaphors were evocative, inspiring even. I appreciated the attention to physical details of feeling emotions. I liked Giovanni's wisdom on the European versus American culture clash, he brought up great points. I don't think I love this book either, I probably wouldn't recommend it to most people I know. I guess that makes me basically indifferent. Though, as they say, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.